Elvira Mistress Of The Dark - some evil diety said "let their be well endowed goth chicks, and goth was good!!!

EDITOR WARNING- if you are offended by boobies, the sight of boobies, talking about boobies, the look of boobies, or just the word boobies then stay away,
what's that? You LIKE boobies, oh then read on...

big boobies, small boobies, ya gotta love 'em all boobies...
one hundred million years before their was goth, I dressed in all black, and loved horror movies, cheesy or otherwise. No, I didn't dye my hair black, or paint my nails yet I truly lived the goth dream. (I was influenced by KISS the hottest band in the land)



I have always loved Morticia Addams ever since I was a small child, and dug the crap out of Bauhaus (Bela Lugosi's dead)
When I was living in Orlando in the nineties, I was amused and happy to see many devout Goth ' ers stalking the streats of downtown Orlando,
and hanging out in large groups in front of trendy coffee shops. to this day you still see some deelightfull young goth ' ers out and about,

like today a girl came into the store I work in dressed in all black wearing Hot Topic black pants with chains (similar to the ones my daughter Marjorie wears almost daily) some non descript black t-shirt with something witty written on the front, and strait black dyed hair, coolest of all was her eye makeup, dark with what looked like egyptian symbols (ankh) on her eyes coming down onto her cheeks. Very impressive.

Yessiree bob, Goth is alive today, and still doing well. Anyway another pre goth, goth 'er was Elvira aka Cassandra Peterson.


Her history is fun to think about. I mean come on, she took advice from the king! Yes Elvis himself.
At seventeen Cassandra became the youngest showgirl in Vegas history, Elvis caught her act, an suggested that she continue as a singer.

She went to Rome, and became fluent in Italian, joined a rock band and was cast in a Fellini film "Fellini's Roma"

she moved back to Hollywood, and joined the groundlings, a famous improv group that included Paul Reubens, Phill Hartman, and Jon Lovitz.


As usual I'll let Elvira talk for herself, when asked when she started reviewing bad horror movies on TV she said:
"We started in 1981 at a local TV station in Los Angeles, and that's how we started out with the character, sorta showing old horror movies and kind of poking fun at them a little bit. Then the show was syndicated a couple of years later, so it was seen all over the country, and that's what kinda catapulted Elvira from local horror hostess to national recognition"

What's her favorite bad movie of all time?
"Oh my God, I have so many bazillions of them! You know, it's not a horror movie, but Plan 9 from Outer Space is still my favorite. It was so brilliantly bad.

(Vampira was one great thing from Plan 9)
Its the MOST horrible, horrifying movie I've ever shown. I just have an affinity for any movie where the director wears high heels and an angora sweater. That's one of my all-time favorites. There are so many billions but that one hit a new low."

I am reviewing Elvira's classic 1986 film "Elvira Mistress Of The Dark" , but in 2002 she wrote, and starred in another film "Elvira's Haunted Hills" Which of course I am dying to see (can't afford the DVD yet) I'll let Elvira tell you all about it...
"Well, it's a parody of all the gothic horror films I grew up with as a child. They were the low budget Roger Corman, Hammer, AIP films. I grew up adoring those! It's kind of an homage, it's kind of a parody but people can tell it's from a love of these types of horror films, rather than making fun of them.
Kinda like what Austin Powers did with the '60s and '70s spy movies, I wanted to do that with this genre of films. So anybody that's familiar with this genre of films, this sort of slow-moving, low budget horror films. I think people of all ages will get it. I think it kinda stands on it's own too, but if you haven't seen those movies, there's enough humor to carry you through.

We went through a lot of work to make it have the look of those old movies. I mean we used tungsten lighting, which they used back then, instead of the filtered film lights. We used a live orchestra instead of a synthesized soundtrack. I think it's a fantastic, well of course I think it's fantastic, I think it should have won the damned academy award, but It's a great homage to those films to keep them alive, so people don't forget them."
Another cool ass fact it co stars Richard O'Brien, Yes "Rocky Horror Picture Show" creator, genius.


Ok lets talk Mistress of the Dark.


Elvira has some of the most enormous talents to ever bust out onto the silver screen. Though her career has seen many peaks, and valleys, she remains to this day at the top of the mountain, always keeping abreast on her fanbase. ok enough innuendo, well at least for the moment. Mistress of the dark is a campy classic. That really is great.

It has the prerequisite baddy played to perfection by William Morgan Sheppard

There also was a couple of great character actors

Edie McClurg plays Chastity Pariah, she has been in like a million movies that you have seen, she also does endless voice overs for video games, and cartoons. Stuff like Dickie Roberts, Van Wilder, A Bugs Life, Higglytown Hero's etc, I recognize the guy but I'm not sure what all he's done.
Elvira proves to us the difference between grown women, and little girls.

One of the reasons that Elvira's movie works so well is Elvira herself. her propensity for one liners, and quick quips. (say that three times really fast) Aside from her obvious talents, she never takes herself seriously, and knows how to have fun, and work at the same time.

Mistress of the Dark was directed by James Signourelli who also directed one of my old favorite comedies Rodney Dangerfields "Easy Money" wayyyy back in good ole 1983. Then he directed Mistress in 1988. (Sadly not a good year for me, lost all my friends over a bad women, and moved from Austin Texas) Since he has only directed film shorts for Saturday Night Live.

I thought it was funny when Elvira cooked...


A must see in all Elvira movies is her ability to do a very old burlesque stripper trick, the spinning of the tassles. The tassles hang off the pasties that cover the nipple, and a well endowed stripper, can spin one tassle one way, and the other tassles the other way. Got to see it to belive it. Ha, told you boobies were fun!!

Hey Cassandra any tips for the Elvira fan...
"Yes, go to Elvira.com . Go see where I'm going to be, what's going on, where the film's going to be(Haunted Hills). You can even buy the movie there because it's a great movie to watch during the Halloween season."

Thanks Elvira I will, now quit reading this, and get choo behind on over there, and buy, buy, buy.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - If ya' gotta' wiz, then you better be harry, uh potter that is...

Alfonso Cuarón.

That is all I need to say. No really This guy turned out to be a kick ass director, and great choice for this movie. Alfonso is a 42 year old Mexican director.
21 Grams director Alejandro González Iñárritu, and Hellboy's Guillermo Del Toro are two other Mexican directors that are blowin' up de' hollyweird system.

Every one was talking about how dark, and moody Prisoner of Azkaban is, and rightly so. Alfonso Cuarón was a Perfect fit to the tone of this Harry Potter novel. The books continue to have humour, and darkness mixed like bananas, and fruitbats.

Here is the most recent picture of Harry Potter that I could find, my god how he's aged...

Wait a minute that's not Harry Potter thats Harry Shearer!
In an interview, here is what Alfonso Cuarón had to say:
"From the get-go we set up to serve the material, and I think that the darkness comes out of the material. There is an evolution between the first film and the second film that is also a result of the material, and now this new darkness has come up from Harry's perception in which the world is changing. Some of the monsters are not outside, the monsters are inside, but also the antidote for the monsters is inside. So we were trying to add darkness, to balance the darkness present in the book. What is so beautiful about these books is the dance of the darkness - the scary, emotional elements - and humour. That is what we were trying to honour."

cool huh, now when a director makes a film he works closely with the cinematographer who makes decisions based on the visual aspects of a film. From camera and lens choices to lighting design and film stock decisions. So a funny thing happened to Alfonso on the way to England:
"All my life I collaborated with Emmanuel Lubezki

he did my films, and also films like Sleepy Hollow - but he wasn't available. For the first time ever I found myself looking for a different cinematographer, and actually Emmanuel was a big factor in choosing Michael Seresin. We talked about him as a cinematographer we always admired, and one who we tried to emulate in many ways. One thing that I felt was perfect for Michael was that we have this magical universe that he could really ground. Because he has got that grittiness, and that grittiness comes from the fact that he is a single-source light cinematographer.

He's very naturalistic in that sense. I felt it would be a good marriage with the material. He also turned out to be an amazing guy and an amazing collaborator, and I think that the combination between Michael Seresin and Stuart Craig [production designer] is what put this universe together."

In American Cinematographer magazine they talked to Michael Seresin:
Although The Prisoner of Azkaban retained the franchise's Super 35mm format, its look evolved in other ways. New elements include a very mobile camera and a predominance of wide-angle lenses. "We were on the 14mm, 18mm, 21mm or 24mm the whole movie," says Seresin. The reason, he explains, is that "where everybody is [situated] is really important," especially when conjuring up a world of wizards. "In the Great Hall, you might have a close-up of somebody, but you're aware of 200 kids behind him, as well as the Gothic windows, flambeaus and so on. Any time you move the camera, which Alfonso really likes to do, you're revealing where you are and what's going on." Employing a multitude of dollies and cranes, as well as a Steadicam, Seresin used very few fixed-camera shots. "That's true in Alfonso's other films as well," he notes. "He's a master of it."
Thank you Michael.

Ha ha ha they were so little!!!
Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, and Rupert Grint play Herimone Eidelweis (just kidding its Herimone Granger), Harry Potter, and Red Headed lil' Ralphy, no.. uh Ron Weasley
It's funny to watch them go from being so little, at the start of the series, to growing up in front of the cameras.


Daniel Radcliffe is Harry Potter. He will always be associated with this role, yet might go on to other things, time will tell.

He was asked about the shift in directors, here is his answer:
"Everything we learned with Chris over two years - which was a lot - we now get a chance to put it into practice with another director. That was a challenge in itself, because we had to get used to someone else's style, but it has helped us a lot to evolve or develop just making the transition."
When asked if he enjoyed working in movies he said:
"My favourite part of the whole process, including the interviews, the premieres, whatever, is always the work, actually making the films. People say it's work, but it's not really work, is it? I really enjoy it. It's challenging for me, but it's fun, I really enjoy doing it."
And what does he do with all his big bucks?:
"It's in a bank, I don't really use it. You know, I'm 14, I don't really have a major need for it yet. I buy a lot of CDs, but that's it really."
I think that as you watch the films Daniel Radcliffe is developing into a very good actor, and it will work out well since the upcoming stories get quite intense.

Emma Watson is Herimone. How do you pronounce her name properly? Ehm-ma, oh you mean her character (her-my-o-nee) She has also grown with her role, and been very natural at it. What are her thoughts on her character:
"I love playing Hermione, she is so charismatic. She's a fantastic role to play, especially in this third one. It's my favourite book, my favourite script. She's taken two films of people being rude to her, being nasty to her, and either pretending that she didn't hear or just saying "forget about it".

But in this one it's a real turning point for her because she says "That's it, I'm not taking this any more!" She punches Malfoy, she storms out on teachers. She's rock and roll, she's girl power, she's feisty in this one."
plus she gets to time travel, now I'm jealous. it would be cool to go back a bit, and set things right.
One cool thing for these three kids is getting to work with some of the finest actors around. What does young Emma think about all of that?:
"The last scene, which had Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Gary Oldman and David Thewlis all in the same room, was a bit overwhelming,

but it was great because it really challenged me. Even if it wasn't personal advice, just watching them work was a huge help in terms of helping us mature as actors. I was so pleased to be working with Emma Thompson. She's done a great job with Trelawney - she's absolutely hilarious."

For whatever reason in the books one of my favorite characters is Ron Weasley. He is played beyond perfection by Rupert Grint. Funny, I think you latch onto characters that you can relate too. whether you see yourself in them, or someone you've known. In this case I grew up as an only child, with my best freind Mike Baden living down the street from us with NINE brothers, and sisters. We met when I was 13, and I moved away when I was 17. So there is some slight similarities involved. of course I'm not a really powerfull wizard, no wait yes I am. Well anyway Rupert is funny, and seems to be a really nice kid. Will Rupert continue an acting career?
"I'd like to carry on doing films - that would be pretty cool. But then, when I was a kid I wanted to be an ice cream man! That seemed like the ideal job for me."
Being a movie star must be great. has he had any bad experiences?
"I had a real live rat in this film. When we were in Scotland he peed on me. That wasn't really nice."
What is it like being a movie star?
"Pretty normal. Life is the same as it was before, but I just get recognised sometimes, which is really hard to get used to. Apart from that, I've missed a lot of school, which has been a bonus..."

Another joy to this film franchise has been the casting of Alan Rickman as Prof. Snape. What does Alan think about the Harry Potter hoo haa etc...
"I don’t talk about Harry Potter"
Well said Mr. Rickman. I think that sums it up quite nicely. He really does have a way with words, doesn't he?
Joining the cast in another example of brialliant casting is Gary Oldham as Sirius Black. I guess I first became aware of Gary back in 1986, in "Sid and Nancy". I saw him in "Henry and June", and I was blown away by him in the ever beloved "Bettie and Bertha"! Then he did a little film called
Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula. Which I dug. Hey Dracula even had Keanu, and Monica Belluci, years before the matrix mess. in 1994 he starred as Beethoven in "Immortal Beloved". Then in 1997 (I got married to my lovely wife Bonnie) he did something that will live in my memory forever, he starred in "The Fith Element" as "Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg" One of his moments of cinema genius. Then in 1998 He starred in another great fun (often overlooked movie) "Lost In Space". He was in some other fine movies, then he choose to do "Harry Potter" in 2004. Coolest of all this year he will be in... wait for it... "Batman Begins", and yes the next Harry Potter movie "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". Woo hoo us movie fans are jus' a shittin' ar' pants!

JK Rowling is now the most sucessfull writer in history. wow. She has influenced an entire generation of children, the adults of 2020 or so. She takes it all with a grain of salt, and at the risk of her health, and family, she continues to write huge books, they weigh a ton, and a really quite a read. I can't remember "Childrens Books" ever being like this. I've called her the Stephen King of this era, and I don't think that I am wrong. She was asked about the Sixth book in the series.

"P: You mentioned in the previous books you finished one and immediately started the next. Have you started the sixth one?

JKR: Yeah.

P: How far are you into it?

JKR: Not that far because I had a baby. But yeah, I started it when I was still pregnant with David. And I actually did get some writing done the other day, and that's not bad going considering he's only ten weeks. So he's pretty full time at the moment. But yeah I did a bit more the other day.

P: The reason the fifth book was - what three years? Three years since the last one? Why did it take so long?
because I did'nt want to publish next year. I wanted to write this book in a more leisurely way, and I wanted to take some time off. Because I had had... I finished Philosopher's Stone, I literally started Chamber of Secrets that afternoon. I finished Chamber of Secrets, I started Prisoner of Azkaban the next day. And I finished Azkaban and I'd already started Goblet of Fire because they overlapped - so there was absolutely no let-up.

And I knew I couldn't do it. I just knew I couldn't do it; my brain was going to short circuit if I tried to do that again. So they (the publishers) said "Well, how about we do still get the book when you finish it, but we don't have a deadline?" So I said okay. So that's how we worked it. So there was no deadline. So, just once and for all, and for the record, I didn't miss the deadline. Because there was no deadline.

P: Are you going to have a lot of loose ends to tie up in seven?

JKR: Oh god, I hope not. I'm aiming to tie it all up neatly in a nice big knot... that's it , good night"

J.K. Rowling, whose sixth Harry Potter novel is due out next month. After just seven years, the Harry series is on the short list of the greatest literary phenomena of all time, and shows no signs of flagging: In the U.S. alone, there are now roughly 103 million hardcover and paperback copies in print of the first five Harry Potter titles. Readers eager to buy the "Half-Blood Prince" have already pushed the book to the top-selling position on Amazon.com