It’s been a while since I’ve written anything… A whole week! Unusual for me. I’m finding myself wanting to spend every waking moment in Perfect World with my friends. Ha, yes, I have friends. Shocking isn’t it? I enjoy being in there and playing with them more than any of them will ever know. 
In real world news, Max attacked his teacher the other day, we’ve started him on his new seizure meds, he grabbed his new worker’s steering wheel as they were crossing the bridge to come back home and now the guy is scared to drive him anywhere, the list goes on from there. Pick a problem. His teacher called me while the worker was here yesterday and I have to say it took everything in me not to cry. She said so many nice things and gave me such praise… Everyone seems to think this is so heroic and brave to do this, raising this child, but really I feel I have no choice. I feel very trapped and more often than not, very alone. It is heart breaking to see him destroy everything that we own and hurt us. She said I deserved a break and someone should send me on a cruise or something. The reality is, I want to escape inside myself. I’d rather be living in my fantasy world than the real one and that’s why I play the game so much every day. She’s talking about signing him up for summer camp, but I am so afraid of that… It’s so much easier to hide in my little imaginary world than it is to do things I have such little real interest in doing like cruises and such. Anyway, I don’t want to get worked up over all of that so close to my last remaining chance to get peaceful rest until Monday. But I have to admit, I’m struggling hard with the need and desire to jump back into the game.
Speaking of the game and real life, try as I might, I can’t seem to keep the two completely separate. One of my game friends now knows my online nickname and my band name and my website, purely by accident. Oh well… I did ask him to keep it between us. I really don’t want that world crossing over into this one.  I want to go there in the game world to enjoy myself and be happy and have fun. This real world is a constant chore and so damned sad most of the time. I do talk to one of the group privately about some real life stuff, because she also deals with much of the same stuff as I do, but even with her I try not to talk about it too much. I really want this game to be my other, freer, life. An escape.
Anyway, I gotta go get my nap…. Time is rapidly running out.